We have some *business* to discuss

When I hear those words from C, somehow I know it won't be pleasant business. She mentioned it to me after dinner, before she gave Lauren her bath…so I wondered what it could be.

After she put Lauren down, she came over with a brochure of headstone samples/ideas etc…OH CRAP! It started out fine--business...she’d done enough research that she had an idea of the options she wanted. We reviewed the graphics (angels, crosses etc), the font type, the stone color, the wording….then just seeing her name written on paper in a rectangle/headstone shape put me over the edge…how can we be sitting there picking out a headstone for such a perfect little angel---OH CRAP again—so damn hard!

I don’t wish this pain upon my worst enemy…damn, damn, damn. Just another brutal reminder of the pain and suffering that continues. Picking it out seems so final, like another door is being closed in my face…Can't bear to think about the day it is laid at her grave.