ABC's of Grief..."C" -IV
C: Control...I have been thinking about this word for some time now. As a male, a German, the oldest kid in the family and an engineer--I like/love to have/be in control. As the Gemini in me says, I'm either in control or not--it's one or the other.
In the early hours of 10.30.05, I've determined that I was not in control...God was. C and I were doing all we knew we could to comfort and care for Christine. We vowed not to beat ourselves up about what-ifs...but of course I think about that often. I'm now beginning to be comforted in knowing we did all we could, but God was in control that morning, not me or C.
It makes me wonder and ponder how much control I have at all. I do have control over my daily actions...but how much is predetermined or controlled by others or God. I will continue to reflect on who's in control...
I was just about to click "Publish Post" and I hear this on the radio..."Ultimately God is in control"---guess that says is all.
posted by Bike @ 9:15 AM
2 comments
2 Comments:
M,
I can tell you, when I wear one of my “other hat’s”, there are times when we have patients who are experiencing a dire medical emergency, and we’re right there. We perform all the medical interventions available to us, and the patient still doesn’t make it. I’ve had this happen with male and female, young (6 yrs) and old (60+ yrs).
My point?
Every time it happens, I always think that they had the best chance, and that even though we do all this fancy stuff, it is still God that decides. In the end, He has all the control.
Marty, although I think you always knew this subconsciously, now you see it consciously, and I think it will help you now and in the future.
PJ
Thanks PJ! I've known it consciously, just had to write it down to reinforce.
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