Cold Turkey
Lent and Easter are over and I'm quite sad about that. As I began to ponder the text for this post, I received a timely email and so I'm going to *steal* & share a few lines from my friends email, since it sums up my feelings as well...(thanks JJS--hope you don't mind)"Can you believe Easter is over? I can totally relate to what you said about the joy and sadness of lent being over. I used to hate lent, now I really love it. Then I wonder: Is it OK to love lent? Lent probably isn't supposed to be something you love. But I do. I love the intense spiritual renewal, I love the rituals, I love the preparation of the music, I love the anticipation of the risen Lord...and I really love fish."
This is exactly how I feel, except for loving fish...I do like it but would rather eat meat! Beer-battered fish and fried shrimp do me fine every Friday.
The point is, I've gotten accustom to having an outlet of sorts for my feeling so sad...for sharing my grief...for crying daily. Let's summarize:
During Lent...
- I prayed the MPM version of the Rosary...saying Hail Mary's and Our Father's to/from the 15 minute walk from train to office
- I attended the Taize Prayer Services weekly at St. Ray's
- I attended Stations of the Cross a few Fridays, one at St. Joe's and one at St. Ray's
- I attended CRHP meetings weekly
- I attended mass every Wednesday at lunch time (missed one)
- I fasted on Ash Wednesday and Good Friday
- I abstained from meat every Friday (missed one--darn nachos)
- I abstained from eating any *goodies* at the office
- I attended Holy Thursday Services
- I attended Good Friday Services
- I attended Holy Saturday morning prayer services
- I attended Easter Vigil Services
- I attended Easter Mass
And now it's all gone--I have to go cold turkey! I'm going to continue to pray and try to attend a lunch time mass once a week, but the rest is gone--no quiet prayer with others, no music, no CRHP meeting for a few weeks...It's as if I have the DT's...from Jesus...is that possible? I've got to find other means to keep the faith and spirituality going. I have no immediate plan but I better come up with one soon.
My hope is not to live a Lenten style life forever, but to change my daily routine so that it's not the same old *Rat Race* (I love that song--gotta get that on my IPOD). I want to continue to think how I can serve others or be like Christ or be there more for my family or do something more meaningful with my life...sounds like a classic mid-life crisis combined with grief/loss contemplation effort--wish me luck.
posted by Bike @ 12:30 PM
3 comments
3 Comments:
...from morning to night...its a rat race, you don't know where you're going and you're always uptight !! Is that the song you mean? Very Mueller-esck.
Easter vigil made me cry a lot too. As did the Christmas Mass. I miss my niece.
I like the thoughts about something meaningful. It seems that after the day to day and the chemo and the new engagement, I have no energy left for aqnything. But as I think about it, I have so much to be thankful for in this life. I suppose the details will work themselves out as long as I live today, in the present, the best way I know how. That is a start.
All my love, T
Are there opportunities near you for Eucharistic adoration. We're fortunate down here in Belleville to have one church that has perpetual adoration. I spend an hour each week -- 1-2 a.m. Friday -- in a chapel in prayer or in spiritual reading. I find that helps me recenter my life around Christ.
T & Roger,
Thanks for your comments--very much appreciated.
T, yes, that's the song. Do M/D still have the 45? Thanks for sharing your feelings about this post...it's a tough go for you and you do have so much to be thankful for. As I've noted before, you are my Rock and you continue to show me your great strength and faith...it helps me focus mine.
Roger, thanks for the idea. We do have a chapel, but it is not open 24/7. I've been a few times during trying times in my life but not in the last 25 weeks...I will probably try to get there every so often. But what I'll miss is the singing, the sharing of faith with others. I'm going to investigate the many ministry's at our parish to see what I might be able to donate time toward.
thanks again!
M
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