Loft Dedication

Well...it was a sobfest!

This morning, I entered the pre-school for the first time since Christine died. C's been there a few times since. It just plain stinks to be there w/o her...reminders of her at every turn. The restroom--washing her little hands before class...the sand box, the floor mat were the kids sit, the toys...it all brought back a flood of emotions...started to tear-up before we even saw the loft or any teachers.

Cathy, the teacher, came into the room as we were checking out the loft...she spoke to C and came to hug me as I sobbed in her arms...so flipping sad. She noted that the kids talk about Christine every day.

The loft is very beautiful! The Amish do great work. The two story structure has little rooms at ground level with curtains and kitchen things, the upstairs has a large area for the kids to play.

The teachers put 3 school pictures of Christine on the wall above the loft and added two pictures that we gave them from the thank you notes...that really got me weeping--still hard to look at her beautiful face. They had the Christmas picture with a saying mounted in a frame and hanging from the front railing. They had mounted a brass plaque on the front that says:

Donated in Memory of

Christine Mueller

2006

Our Precious Angel

Forever in Our Hearts

They used red crepe paper to form a ribbon for cutting--wrapped around the lower level.

When we arrived, the 19 kids were all in the block/play room playing. We went down there to watch them and to listen to what Kathy had to say. The kids have grown so much in the last 22 weeks. Cathy had the kids clean up the area, then sit to chat about their spring break. Then Cathy showed the kids a picture of Christine and introduced me, C, Lauren and Grandma Lil. Then she told them that there was a surprise back in the classroom...a loft that was donated to them/the school in memory of Christine. Then some of the kids said, 'I saw the fort', 'I saw a bunk-bed'. She asked them to share memories of Christine...our neighbor Kristin said 'I had a lot of nice playdates with her.' Another girl noted earlier that 'Christine was far away.'

The kids lined up, with Tillie the birthday girl as line leader. In the weeks before Christine's death, I decided to ask her pointed questions about school verses the typical 'how was your day at school?' I would ask her to tell me who the line leader was and what snack they ate. She always had the answer.

When we got back to the classroom, about half the moms were seated in the tiny chairs waiting for the kids and the dedication. Cindy, the director, said a few nice words about Christine, us and the donation and them the Pastor read a dedication from his book and blessed the loft...very touching.

Then they had us come up to cut the ribbon (as they motioned to us I turned to the back to look for Lil and saw our friend Sody came to support us!--that got the water works going) They asked if we wanted to say anything...I could not say a word w/o sobbing, so C, while crying as well, pulled off an impromptu. She asked the kids to please remember Christine as they get older and go on to grade school etc...more was said, but I lost the details already...I think we had the audio tape running...it was a perfect ending to the ceremony---out of the corner of my eye, I could see all the moms wiping away their tears...then I cut the ribbon---clapping and then the kids ran to play on it.

We took a few pictures of the kids on the loft...they were all so excited.

The class split into two groups and one part stayed and met/talked w/ Cathy on the top of the loft...it was getting a workout right off the bat.

We hope the kids of Christine's class never forget her and enjoy the loft for the next few months and that all future classes enjoy it as well.

At the conclusion, I went to hug Sody and in walks Sarah and Jay to support us as well... We spent the next few minutes checking out the loft and talking. I just sent them this note of thanks...

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Janice, Nancy, Sarah and Jay,

What great friends you all are…helping put the loft together last week and showing up today to help support us during (and after) the dedication--God knows we needed it.

I thought I could hold it together, but once I saw her pictures on the wall, listened to the kids talk about her, hugging the teachers and then seeing some of the parents there too…too much for the eyes to hold back all those tears.

We miss her so damn much and I know that you do too…C and I really appreciate the time you took today and last week to make this day a little more bearable.

You guys are the best,
Marty
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Christine, I hope you saw how you've touched so many lives...a lot of tears were shed in your memory today--you are so missed.