Doing something big...
Well, we're not certain what this means today, but C and I want to do something big/special to keep Christine's name/spirit alive. We've received so much $$ support for her memorial fund, and we intend to do something significant for her pre-school. But we want to do something beyond that...I see (on-line) that some memorial funds are used to support scholarships of some kind...not certain that is appropriate for the pre-school...suggestions are welcome here.
posted by Bike @ 11:31 AM
5 comments
5 Comments:
I don't mean to sound insensitive or anything, but can you tell us the story of what happened? I have been coming to this site every day since finding it because I am in shock that this can happen to such a beautiful little girl and her family. I have a four year old boy and this hits close to home. I am so sorry for your loss.
With regards to the idea for the fund: I would suggest setting up a scholarship for a college of your choice. Maybe only for students from your home town, etc. You can set the limitations to more appropriately suit the type of memorial you want to have.
Well---I've been thinking of posting the details of her very sudden death, but have yet to do so. I was hesitant to even write it down in an email-difficult to do, but have done so for some people I don't see often to let them know some details. I'm also wondering about people trying to second guess our approach to that evening and telling us what they would have done--I don't need that!...some mom told us of some similar situation of hers at the wake--was very insensitve of her...she came with an old friend/sitter and probably thought she was helping in some weird way...but was not. So, we'll see.
Thanks for the memorial ideas. Hug that 4-year old for me.
Bike, I understand your hesitation with regard to those concerns. People can be real jerks sometimes even when they think they are doing the right thing. If you ever want to talk to someone that would be entirely non-judgemental and just there to chat, another parent like you, drop me a line at anger at angerisagift dot net. Until then, I will continue to read your blog here and pray for your beautiful daughter in heaven and your family.
peace
I am shocked that anyone would try and second-guess your actions that night, whatever they were! That goes beyond insensitive, it is cruel. I'm sorry you've had to endure that kind of talk. I hope the love and support outweighs that kind of behavior.
I totally understand your decision! Here's my theory on why people say some of the shitty things that they say...they're trying to reassure themselves that it can't happen to them. Sometimes they don't think about who their audience is. I saw it all the time when working with kids with special needs. I'd get the question all the time..."well...what did the mom/dad do? Did the kid not have a car seat? Did mom drink while she was pregnant"? People just want to believe that they're immune to tragedy.
Ideas for the fund:
1. Playground equipment at her school (and I like the scholarship fund idea)- or playground equipment in an area where underpriveledged kids live.
2. Donation to the Children's hospital in your area
3. Donation to an organization tht helps needy kids (St. Jude's hospital or Operation Smile)
I kind of like #1 b/c it would make me happy to see children playing in an area that was in memory of my child.
I'm sure whatever you do with the money will be meaningful and exactly right.
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