Monday, February 13, 2012

sigh-a rare tough morning

This morning Lauren made each C and I a little note while she ate her breakfast that says, "I'll miss you Dad/Mom -sad-face. I love you -heart, heart sad-face.

She gets a bit teary-eyed when she knows we're going out for the evening or away to a meeting...not sure what spawned this before she left for school today, but the note touched me as I put it in my pocket above my heart.

Moments later, as I walked on the MP-Metra platform to my 'standing-spot', I just about walked past a friend/K who typically rides an earlier train...I was not expecting to see him. We chat for a minute as we'd not seen each other in a while, until a friend (BP) of his walks up to say hi to him. I recognize this guy/BP as a fellow Metra rider on the evening train but I don't think I know who he is. We are introduced by K and I say Marty, he says BP...I instantly recognize his last name/P and wanted to ask--how do I know you?, but, the two of them begin to talk as we wait for the train to arrive. I begin wondering if he may be the father of a kid in Christine's pre-school class--a family i've not seen in a long time...As the train is pulling up, BP is telling K about his really sick daughter/KP using words similar to this... she's very ill and we tried to find medicine in the house that was not expired...she had a hard time breathing all night but at least she made it through the night breathing...she has a really croupy cough and his wife had the humidifier going all night. Then we walks away toward a different door. Overhearing this conversation instantly took me back to 10-29/30-05. My heart was heavy and sad in an instant.

He obviously did not recall who I was...if he did, ya think he'd not say and describe the exact scene at our home 6 years ago w/o acknowledging me. I'm fairly certain that if K knew the circumstances of Christine's death, he did not recall them at that moment-if he does at all. I wanted to talk w/ him/them but I just let'em walk off...

I know certain people remember Christine, but at that moment it felt like she was forgotten...except by me. I sat on the train, pondering this event and felt Lauren's love from her note about missing me and C today.

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